7.13.2006

Nahnahnah Hodeup Hodeup!


So the next time I'm playing ball with my boys, and I convert a layup (I mean, it'll look like an attempt at a dunk, but I'll just finger-roll the ball at the last second) and then slap the rim, is it cool if I say it's a dunk? Like, I can do the tongue-wag and maybe a finger-wag while I backpedal down the court. Is that cool? Can I get sports journalists to write about my "dunk"?

I mean, imagine if NBA players started slapping the rim after layups. It would "change the face of the game".

OK, I'm being really hard on Michelle Snow. I bet it's really hard to slap the rim after a layup. Timing, hand-eye coordination. The fear of being ridiculed by your peers when they find out you didn't really dunk but you tried to make it seem as if you did.

7.12.2006

Manfis Blong Bigfala Kaofis

When I found out that Vanuatu was the happiest place ever today, I figured it'd be cool to go there. After checking out there official language, fuck that shit. I am not getting stuck in a movie about voodoo killer dolphins that were created as part of a secret experiment conducted by the U.S. Army during World War II so I can listen to these fuckers try and explain to me what's going on so I can save a small village from certain destruction.

I've seen that movie, and when fuckers talk like that, fuckers die.

7.10.2006

50 Million Dong

Some kids in Taiwan cheated on some tests like in Old School using wigs, cell phones and whatnot. The best part is that they paid 50 million dong to get the wigs and phones.

1) Dong at use in a bank:

"How do I know your bank is safe?"
"Sir, I assure you we are very safe. We will take good care of your dong."

2) Dong at use at home:

"Did you see where I left the dong for the pizza guy, honey?"

3) Dong at use during a poker game:

"I raise you a dong."

4) During a mugging:

"Gimme your dong!"

5) During a church fund collection:

"Please place your dong on the plate."

dong2 (dông, dng)
n. Vulgar Slang
A penis.